Mama, please save from my dreams
Mama, why is it that you got so many things right?
Humiliation being the most clever of all devices
And I cannot look upon....
It brings the hangman’s lime upon the windy hill
To a suffering change of weather
Me stuck between the detainment of my brain
Scratching at the surface of my cruel white walls
Those dirty awful ugly white walls
And you told me, Mother, that I was a jewel
But what jewel was meant to be spat into the dirt
Decaying under the earth
Unable to even think
A detachment of myself from my former person
I will be a metamorphosis
I was told that things shouldn’t change
But I have such a darkness dwelling within me
I am swallowed time to time
And come out of it, with no semblance of myself
And I cannot even recognize who I once was
Sad room, dwindling music, empty bottles
Give way to the lunacy of forgotten past
And look expectant towards pain
That seems so deserved
And yet, I fear so much
I am terrified of the cages I have built
Inside my head
Where I am the one slicing my back
Like a christ upon heroin
Trying to come to grips
With the fact that He is a ghost within a ghost
Splitting hairs
Upon the cement stage
Is my great entrance into the horrific play
And I shutter at the sound of the trees outside my room
They hear too much.
And I am scared to death of my own dreams,
I am flying on a knife I built
With my own blood and tears.
