She holds the execution rod
Beached upon the rock that I grasped
Am I played naked and shivering
With the last scents of you
mulling in me, filling up
All those roses
Their petals are withering
Like the autumn dust
I am a winter-bedded boy
Those warm embraces freeze my icy veins
I am unable to make sense
Of your touch
Was it malicious, was ill-meant?
Or maybe I am run away with myself
I just know I can’t handle it
It’s like a foreign property
I was never able to light upon
A tenderness
My catholic guilt will not allow it
Happiness is for the other kids
But I miss you more as the days increase
And am finding that I am so fucked
I believed things would pass
But that seems not a reality
I scream in my skin
Wishing for somebody more endowed
More handsome, more witty
But alas, I am not that
I am just me
I might be talented and creative
But what has love to with that
The bitterest words that you spoke were
I find you interesting
What the fuck does that mean?
When I don’t even find myself that way
All I see is a former person
Who maybe had some semblance long ago
Of someone who had an inch of joy
But all that is gone now
You’ve turned my life upside down
I wish that I could erase it all
And rise with a view of green fields
But I see only lonely marigold
But I understand now
I must walk alone
I was not meant for a life
Adorned with celebrations and bed-talk
But one of chaos and loneliness
But I don’t think I chose it
But I hope someday somebody
Will think Im work a damn
But until then I will take up their cause
And punish myself for things I had no choice over
And my only company is my demons
Haunting over me
But I guess it’s better than nobody at all
