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Jessalynn d'Ghent


The water crashes against the rocky cliffs below,
My mind is elsewhere, of days past, of happy memories,
I would trade my last breath for one last glance at your
smiling face,
Oh lost love, you sear my heart with aching tenderness,
The edge draws nearer, my tears seem to flow like the
arrow that snatched you from me,
The last wilting rose, the last shred of you, I clutched to
my breast,
Love can be so sweet, my dear,
The wind whips through me like knifes, my pain means
It is a willing tribute,
Free me from my prism, I cannot go on,
The day you were stolen from me, from my side,
When God grasped you and took you to heaven above,
I stopped breathing, I stopped being,
I love you painfully, as the thorns seeping into my skin,
Each passing day is harder, each breath is a blow against me,
The chilling air nips at my cheeks, the tears solidifying against
my pallored skin,
My ghost haunts our home, a walking shell,
Glancing up towards heaven, to you, I beg forgiveness,
My presence here means naught, so I must betray my promise
to you,
I will not remember the day, I will not live tomorrow, without you,
I love you so, I can’t let go,
Pray for me, my love, I cannot let you go!
Tumbling, spiraling, I’m loosing control, still holding your rose to my
Oh lost love, I claim my death freely, gladly! For you!


You are doing it again,
Looking at me like that,
I feel powerless to your stare,
Your eyes captivate me,
There like gems in a face of
pale moonlight,
Though even now,
As you stare so vigilantly at me,
I can see what you see,
I can see what you think of me,

Life is a bit funny,
You were given to me by fate,
A gift I could never repay,
And even though I am not perfect,
Nor am I the most attractive,
Fate propelled us into a single moment,
A moment where you dropped your
And where I, my dear, picked it up,
I have never been so enchanted,
Never have I ever been so bewitched,
As I have, with you,

Life can be cruel, though,
Crueler than death himself,
I had not meant to hurt you in anyway,
Though I was weak,
Though I was foolish,
I abused a beautiful gift given to me,
Cowardly I tried to hide it,
Pushing it back into the deepest recesses of
my soul,
But still,
As common, cruel fate would have it,
That dark, devastatingly crushing secret
would come to surface,

I watched the sun dip behind the horizon,
Our nest, empty now,
The Mother sparrow has flown her coup,
Leaving her mate behind,
And why should it be her fault?
The nest seems so quiet,
You have taken away the soul of this
And as I stand here, I am reminded of you,
How I would hold onto you,
How I would gently kiss your smiling
I thank you fate, for giving me her gift,
I curse myself, for abusing her gift.


Hiding behind my porcelain smile,
Deep down in the caverns of my heart,
I yearn for you,
I’d burn for you,
Through my cracking mask,
I would only ask,
That you’d be mine,
And mine alone,

Though you cannot see,
What you do to me,
I hold onto the hope,
That one day you’d float
your way back to me,
I know you’re my one,
And I am your only,

But things change,
Seasons come and go,
The world shifts,
Yet still I hold onto our love,
Nestled close to my soul,
But now that love is parting my
I seen you there, with her,
And now my love is tainted,
Painted with my hatred,

I had hoped you’d see,
That I would be the only one,
That there would be none to
come between us,
You make me feel alive,
You make me feel like life is
worth living,
But now that you’ve stripped me of
that love,
I must do the only thing to right this
wrong of ours,

Slowly, my love,
Breath deeply,
Deeply, my love,
Hold onto me as we drift
down this road together,
Towards a place where our love
is all we’ll need,
To a place were it’ll be free,
And I would be the only one for

I painted the town red with her blood,
and now as I gaze upon your slumbering
I know,
I know, my love,
That we’re meant to be together,
Though this may be our last breath,
Feel comfort in knowing,
You’ll always have me,
Forever, Together,
I knew I was your one,
And only.

Locked in my tower,
Forbidden to leave,
Cursed, bewitched, alone here,
I look through my looking glass at the world,
My innocence blinds me from their evils,
Still, I yearn to be part of their world,

Alone in my tower, I wonder forever,
When will I begin to live?
Spread my wings and fly away,
To never bear the burden of my mother’s before me,
Set me free, oh, keeper of my key!

Through my looking glass, I spy him pass,
Every day on his beautiful bay,
He will be my life,
And he will be my end,
The one to plunge the dagger into my heart,
For alas, he can never be mine, oh fair, fair rider, mine,
Savoir of my loneilness, keeper of my dreams,

Fates design,
My lifes assigned,
To never live past this day,
I saw him there, and hadn’t I known,
I could never have flown from my perch,
The keeper of my dreams, the savior of my
I wish him best, and his fair maid of dress,

I look away, and feel the pain,
Ebbing in my heart, the hardest part,
Finally today, I break my chains,
Set aside my fears, and bear the curse,
My only last remorse,
Was never breaking course,
To change the fate at which was mine,

The cold stone perch at which I sit,
Breaks the line of my confines,
With one last look, I break the fate,
With one last breath, I sieze the moment,
Todays the day, I fly away,
Immerse myself in the freedom,
And break away from the curse, that kept my captive,
Propelling through the air, I finally know
How it feels to fly.

Here I am!
And there you stand,
You look at me, on my pedestal,
You examine and you nit-pick me,
You tilt your head, left and right,
Your head rested upon your hand,
A smile breaks upon your lips,
Have I made you happy, yet?

I’ve changed myself,
And for what?
My carefree, boundless charisma is now
shadowed by this shallow,
Horrible facade,
How could you?
I was perfect the way I was,
But I can see now,
That you always analyzed me,

I walk a fine line,
I breath a certain way,
I smile sweetly,
My moves are calculated,
Designed to be the way you want me,
How could I ever let you do this to me?
Is it love?
No, this cannot be love,
You wouldn’t have wanted to change me if this was

You draw my puppet strings,
And I go left, then right,
I sway the way you want me,
Move the way you see me,
Do you love me yet?
Do you love this empty shell?
My ways are now yours,
Can you see your reflection?
I hate what I see.

I’m tired, and cold,
Me as I know it is gone now,
What is left, is what you created,
My inner conscious keeps asking me,
Why? Why? Why!
You pick up my strings again,
And you start to sway me,
But enough is enough,
I cut my strings and start to plummet,
But I land on my feet,
I smile, and start to pull off the fake
Our love was a lie,
I’m going to be me, now.


My sweet little Katherine,
How tired you look,
Your once bright green eyes,
Are now dull and listless,
Your blond curls once vibrant,
Are now dirty and tangled,
Your sweet rosy lips,
Pale and bloodless,
My sweet little doll,
Do not fear,
I am here,

I’ll paint you up,
Ruby red lips,
Blush, and powder,
I’ll fix up your hair,
Curls, and ribbons,
Your graying skin,
Now pink and healthy,
I dust off your favorite tutu,
I pull out your favorite slippers,
How much you look like my
sweet little daughter,

I sit you down across from me,
I remember how you loved tea time,
Though you seem so sad,
My sweet little Katherine,
How I wish you would smile,
I glance upon your hunched form,
Your eyes unfocused,
I wish you would talk,
I wish you could dance,
My little girl loved to dance,
Oh my sweet, little doll,

You both are so much alike,
My little girl loved to dance,
She loved to sing,
She was such an innocent thing,
But then one day,
She went away,
And left you in her stead,
I beg your forgiveness,
I know you are mad,
That I left you in that room for so long,
I seen the scratches on the door,
I saw that you had tried to reach me,
I am sorry, so sorry,

You loved this song,
You’d sing along,
As you danced for me,
I loved to watch you dance, my sweet,
How I miss you,
Though I’ve begun to realize,
That you will never return,
I glance upon my little doll,
Her hunched form,
Her bloodshot eyes,
Her stiff hands,
Her eerie stillness.
And then I wonder,
Was she a doll at all?

In a village as old as time,
Sat a small, brown cottage,
Its only resident, an older woman,
Who’s purpose was healing,
Tending wounds, soothing burns,
Bringing babes into the world,
The village would flock to her,
To heal their pains,

She sat one day, upon her quaint porch,
Humming a bawdy tune,
When all of a sudden,
A ominous cloud fell upon her home,
A man, in black robes, holding a cross,
asked her what her business was,
A healer, she answered,
With skepticism in his eyes,
He turned and left,

A storm came upon the village,
Wild and crazed,
The woman sat chilled,
Cold fingers of fear upon her heart,
She felt her life beginning to shift,
The storm had lifted,
And with the new morning,
Came a rap upon her door,
The man was back,

He told me I was accused,
Of what, I asked,
He did not answer,
Slowly he led me to the center of town,
A makeshift stand had been built,
And upon it I stood,
They threw their accusations,
Their prejudices,
Their hate,
I knew deep down,
I was condemned before I was judged,

I hold no hate for them,
Those simple-minded people,
For how could they stand against
a man of god?
Witch, witch, witch!
I was stripped,
I was branded,
I was humiliated,
Sentenced to burn,
For crimes I did not commit,

The searing sun burnt down upon me,
As I waited for the flames to consume me,
Their chants echo through my mind,
I feel the flames licking my feet,
Closing my eyes, I try to block out the pain,
With all my strength I try to numb my body,
With my last breath, I screamed to them,
I told them they were forgiven,
As my scream rent the air,
I let sweet oblivion claim me.

“Come to me..” You whispered in my dreams,
I lift my heavy eyes,
“Come to me..”
I leave my bed, and drift listlessly to my window,
I must be dreaming,
For there you stood,
Below my balcony,
Your arms outstretched to me,
Who are you?
Why do you still persist in seeing me?

The full moon illuminates your face,
You smile at me, and its sweet,
My hands grip the rail,
My body following its own creed,
Though my mind blasts against it,
I climb over the side,
Still you’re there, still waiting,
The blood freezes in my veins,
I slip from the balcony,
I am floating now, through the air,
Will you catch me?

Languidly, I open my eyes,
Everything is in motion,
A thick mist has settled now,
But I feel no cold,
I can see the bright moon,
And.. gravestones,
I am swirling past them,
Circling and turning,
A hand touches my cheek and
I know its you,
How did we get here?

“I’ve waited for this..”
Somehow, I have too,
In this graveyard, in this moment,
I leave myself to your keeping,
I give my will over to abandon,
I feel free in your arms,
My trust is absolute,
Your hand caresses my neck,
And as I glance at you,
I notice more,
Your milk-white skin,
Your hungry eyes,
I’m beginning to fear you,

I’ve had it again,
The same dream, over again,
I cannot begin to grasp why it happens,
The beautiful man at my window,
The mist covered graveyard,
The pain..
I move to the balcony,
Though I know you’re not there,
I sense you watching me,
A passing butterfly flutters by,
Reaching out to grasp it, I notice,
Two small red dots on my wrist,
I shiver, and wonder,
Was my dream a dream at all?

Soul crushing,
Breath taking,
These thoughts,
These dreams,
How can I ever be free?
I feel as if my heart is
Beating no more,
Time stands still,
Hoping this will end,

Why can I never be happy?
To have what I have and
not yearn for more,
For the fairy tale kiss,
The castle on the cliffs,
A wedding day’s bliss,
I fear I cannot stop dreaming,
This life has to hold more,
This cannot be where my life
This cannot be where my tale

Things I wish to do,
People I wish to meet,
Mountains I’d die to climb,
Time is not on my side,
We only have a short while,
To achieve everything we
How can I stop dreaming?
How can I stop wishing for
something, someone else?
To just be happy with the here,
The now,

Damn this life,
Damn this mind,
Damn this never-ending quest,
To find that which eludes me,
That which I wish to possess,
True loves kiss?
I wish,
What is love, anyway?
A complete acceptance of
a person?
A never-ending feeling of
Alas, I will never know,

What is a life worth living,
Without love,
Damn this world,
Damn these chains,
These restrictions,
And rules,
Why can we all not be free?
To love greatly,
To dream broadly,
How dare they confine us?
How dare we not fight them?

Forever wandering the gray area,
Neither stepping to black,
Or white,
Never shifting, never fading,
Just staying in an infinite pause,
Waiting for life to finally give you
a piece of fates fine cake,
Damn this world,
Damn me,
Damn him,
Damn this world we live in.


I can hardly breath,
But I’m passed, dipped, and held,
I feel their hands burning my skin,
How I hate my kin,
Dip, curtsy, bow,
And again!

My life’s arranged,
No matter how much I rage,
I cannot free myself from this cage,
Though my husbands a lecher,
And he’s had four trenchers,
He’s richer than most,
And though he takes my purity,
I take his charity,
Oh, what lovely dresses, and jewels!

Though this unions a farce,
I sparse pay a care,
For I’ll slit my own wrists,
To keep his lusts at bay,
May I, oh, may I?
He begs, while I bat my eyelashes,
And point to my sheets,
Crying out in joy,
To not be his toy,

Knowing my fate,
I let him mate,
Doing what any dutiful wife would do,
And tolerate his gyrations,
For fertilization is my station,
Consummation is my ratification,
When husband’s displeased,
He’ll be appeased, by me on my knees,
My children will be my guarantee,
Of freedom,

The finale arrives,
Dip, twirl, bow,
I am twirled around,
Passed from suitor to suitor,
My last night of freedom,
I make it my best show,
Dip, turn, twirl,
Sailing through the air,
I land on the rail,
Arms outstretched,
Silence throughout the crowd,
A faint smile on my lips,
As I fall back, and let the nothingness
consume me.