Resilience
Nov 5, 2021
She is the light in my sky.
The life in my eyes
The laughter in my heart
The coolness of mind
The stillness within
The power and strength that drums and rumbles from the depths of my soul.
The encouragement
To move... keep going
Even though it feels as I am moving against thorns and rough rocks
I. Move. On.
There’s a sad spot near the beating of my heart.
It cries every now and again, but I move on.
I wish for the sleep that lasts for an eternity, but still I wake.
To see the clouds floating on a sunny day
To feel the goo of warmth greet my shoulders.
To feel the sun kiss my cheeks
She whispers “Jessica”... because she’s there
Ready to move on.
I deal with intrinsic thoughts from time to time. Errors from my past, fears of the future. I slip from the now and become trapped in a half-awake state, actively captured, passively watching. I'm not fully aware, but my true self is and she/I whisper "Jessica"... sometimes strongly, sometimes gently (depending on the thought). Essentially awaking me back into reality, releasing me from the terrors, letting me know that my past is not my future and that I mustn't be led by my emotions.
I'm hurt somewhere inside that I can't locate, but I have to keep going. I'd feel better if I weren't alive, but I keep awaking and so I must keep going. And when I awake, nature is there greeting and loving me and from within I am reminded that although physically alone, I am not truly alone, because I am there pushing myself to keep going.
