The knowing
I’ll never be quite sure how you got inside the barricades,
Still you are here.
Inside.
Moving me.
I packed my trunk with memories of pain,
To guard and ward,
My heart.
I think that I’ll be packing my trunk once again.
For you have not the depth of Love,
To hold,
And heal,
The heaviness within.
To you I’m just a passing of time,
Waiting for a train,
A ticket,
To something better.
And though I knew it long ago,
I did not want to see,
And so was blind.
The knowing does not assuage the pain,
The guilt,
Of realisation,
Somehow,
I must have let you in.
So now I am responsible for giving you the power,
To turn and walk away.
To leave,
Me.
And when you do,
For boredom has already taken hold,
I’ll break.
(1993)
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