I wake every morning
Read my Bible
A quick prayer in my head
Get up
And waste my time for the rest of the day
Fun right?
*Cries*
This isn’t why I’m writing this
Or is it?
I wait every day
Same person
But now it’s happening again
The “replacement”
I CAN’T LET THIS HAPPEN AGAIN
Or is it to late?
Let me explain
~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~
Meet someone
Lost them
Try to fill the hole in my heart
Porn, people, cutting
It’s all meaningless at this point
The hole is still there
And everyday it only gets bigger
Mentally losing all hope
That I’ll be able to get rid of the pain
Without inflicting more
The constant reminder of her...
Just like a copy...
Mirrors her, in every way possible
DAMMIT!
WHY CAN’T I JUST LET GO?!
I’m trying so hard
But she’s still there
Just rip out the memories...
If it’ll bring less pain then this...
Anything...
*Screams*
Open my eyes
Tears engulf my heart
Drowning with no water in sight
I’m trying to fight
But nothing is going right
I don’t want to use them
I don’t mean to either
They make the pain go away...
But it’s only for a little while...
They still just remind me of her
The way she laughed...
The way we stayed up talking...
My sister...
My first sister just slipped out of my hands...
And I didn’t even catch her...
I’m reminded of my mistake every day...
Home, school, out
Doesn’t matter
Everywhere I go
Pain follows me in a black hoodie
A knife in his hand
Tempting me to do it again
Tell him “NO!”
But he never goes
Ask him why he is with me
Says so I can always have the constant reminders:
I use to cut
I want to cut
I am a failure
I am a fallen child
I will never do what I have to do
I watch things I shouldn’t
I use people when I don’t mean to
I can’t control my feelings
A lot of stuff to remind me of right?
Oh well...
Maybe I’ll last another day
With my constant reminder