PITTY
What about me?
Do they see the pain and hurt?
Can they not feel all this animosity?
I must be the problem. I can see it in their eyes.
But why don’t they listen when I shut down and cry?
This is my world this must be it
So I will grow up and have children
And pass it onto them
“You’re fine stop crying”
Instead of listening to their problems
But it’s OK I’m not unfit I know how to solve them.
I gave them life and a roof over their head. They have clean sheets and a place to lay their head.
I am their mother why can’t they see
That this is the best that I can be
I know no different, so I don’t feel bad
They have no reason to be upset. They have no reason to be sad.
Now they are grown, never listening to what I’ve said
Their patience has grown thin of me
As thin as thread
What about me? I say
you’re taking their side?
You don’t listen to me when I yell you don’t listen when I cry
I am your mother you are only one
It doesn’t matter if my words are like a loaded gun
I am your mother and you do as I say
You don’t get your own opinions you don’t get your own way
I am your mother and I did my best
It’s not my fault I can’t control the emotions coming out of my chest
I’m an old woman now stuck in my ways
Unable to process my feelings, unable to change
I sit here, pondering, wishing my children could see the life that I lived filled with so much animosity
This is who I am, and always will be
Throwing my own pity, party continuously crying
What about me?
K.M.
