The conflict beyond loving me
From my crazy mood swings to the fact that I have two left feet
My whole life all the reason someone would never love me have been served to me on a platter
And yes it still haunts me somedays
Maybe that’s why sometimes I can’t sleep
Thinking of all the reasons you have not to love me
And how one day you’ll see them to and leave
They all do one way or another
I’ve been told that I’m easy to fall in love with but apparently I’m easier to leave
And everyone that can eventually does
Lauren Edin once said “When you are not fed love on a silver spoon you learn to lick it off knives”
And I’d swear to you that love tasted like blood the way I’ve always had to lick it off knives
But my heart never learns the lesson
I always love with my all hoping for the best
But every time I do people seem to remind me why it’s called “falling in love”
I swear somedays I could describe the feeling of hitting the ground better to you then I could my favourite book
It’s probably the needy side of me
because I would rather be loved with a burning hot fire for 3 months then a basic love for 3 years,
but it’s probably the dependent side of me to
I get attached way too quickly and stay attached for way too long,
or maybe my insecure side that tells me the moment I let you go I’ll never find someone who’ll love me again
I try to stop loving you but that seems to be a losing game
But so was our love so I guess we’re even
~Keyla Chongo
