Non - Believer
Non - Believer
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Believing in something I’ve never seen
Just because there’s a book about Him
Doesn’t mean that God’s an existing being
I put on this façade & act all holy
Wearing these rosaries, praying for God to know me
I have these suicidal thoughts
But killing myself would mean I’m going to hell
Shit, that’s probably end up anyway
With these scars on my left arm;
That’s an untold story along with the wounds that won’t seem to heal
All because the pain is much too real
I prayed knowing He won’t listen
Does he ever?
Not from what I’ve encountered
I speak with the lack of faith I have in God
Sitting & wondering if heaven or hell even exists
Whilst I study the word of God, I read the bible
Praying that he’ll remember me when my years run out
Praying that he’ll bless me when my tears fall out
I wish for immortality;
But how will that be granted if I liv by immorality
With the amount of resentment stowed upon my soul
It’s like the devil is taking over what is left of me as a whole
Could I claim my soul is hell bound?
Or is it just possessed by what others may call 'evil’?
I look upon God to help me through my depression & pain
But nothing ever happens so I’m doubting that happiness is all I’ll ever gain
See we’re all blinded by what we may call religion
But all of its just an act
To cover up what is truly being given
From Christian, to Atheist, to Satanic
Who would’ve thought one could go from good, to nothing, to bad
Since God didn’t help me through my darkest hour
I figured Lucifer would do some good deeds
In favour of me selling my soul & the possibilities it feeds
To me God is just a fictional character
Nobody real
Brainwashed into thinking that there’s a superior being
My inner demons told me not to believe it,
My body called in for the holy ghost
But chose not to receive it
Consciously making the decision to turn to Satan
With the mark of the beast tattooed across my forehead
It’s clear proof that my soul is now dead
We preach the word of God
But the hypocrisy we portray
Shows that our actions contradict oir words
All these subliminal messages being conveyed
How are we supposed to find the faith within ourselves
If God can’t even be concise
If God can’t even prove Himself
God shows no presence, hence
I became a non - believer
(2014)
This poem was inspired by an underground rapper named Ill Mind of Hopsin.. The song is entitled "Ill Mind of Hopsin 7". He speaks about religion and his belief in God. My poem talks about God along with Satan & my encounters I've experienced with my religion as I am Roman Catholic. People who are sensitive about their religion and beliefs I suggest they do not read this poem.
