As I look back through my life,
And wonder why I’m here,
Can I see the positive things,
Or only what I fear,
I search for reasons to be living,
But at times there are none to find,
Without pain can I know pleasure,
Are my fantasies how I’m defined.
Am I consumed by the things I’d like,
Ignoring all the things inside,
Pretending that things still living,
Somehow long ago died,
I try to justify my existence,
With the mind full of excuses,
Just adding to the growing pile,
Of the fears and self abuses.
Reasoning at times escapes me,
Getting lost somewhere in the past,
As the things I’ve constantly searched for,
Seem now dangled beyond my grasp,
The mind creates a maelstrom,
A whirlpool that takes me down,
With dreams a place of refuge,
Where I hold all the things we found.
My search at times has been arduous,
And I wonder why I even look,
Yet how can I know what pages contain,
If I have no will to open the book,
Reasons though different still are valid,
With the image that we present,
While justification has no presence,
For those aspects that we resent.
All that transpires around me,
Contains things hidden between the lines,
As the things held somewhere deep inside,
Become the dreams the heart defines,
We can ask ourselves what’s important,
But deep down we already know,
It’s love inside every circumstance,
That in darkness continues to grow.
Every night when I ask myself,
For what reason do I still care,
As the heart whispers out through the darkness,
With the knowledge your heart can hear,
Through the constant soul searching,
Inside love still roams free,
And holding on to all we found,
Gives love a reason to be.