I’m trying to fight off this depression and this shit ain’t easy trying to force myself to smile while I’m turning bitter inside emotions at a all time low hatred taking me over slow. I invested 4 years into something I expected it to grow. I watered that flower until I couldn’t water it anymore. they say if you love something than let it go and if it comes back then it would mean much more but to me that’s not how it goes. If I let it go it’s no coming back. I held someone high when I should’nt have. I gave someone expectations and good vibes and he left without considering mines. How do you come back alive from that? I’m sitting questioning myself because I’m so unsure and alone.. How do you tell someone they’re a perfect girlfriend than the next day say you moved on. Bitterness is trying to consume my soul. I’m at this war with myself because in my heart I know it’s time to move on but my mind keep replaying these same ass fucking memories of him as if he’s the words to my favorite song. I’m soaking in this misery and I’ve bathe in this hurt. I’m searching for Gods hands to rescue me but everytime I take one step it’s like the devils gripping my throat. How do I break away. Each day is a battlefield for me. I’m prep talking myself to wake up out my sleep and move my feet. my daily encouragement is me in the mirror saying Quita keep pushing Quita your beautiful Quita your gonna be ok Quita smile. Hey my mr right is searching for me. I never knew loving someone could leave me so weak... the pain I felt devoured me.