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Laura Alaniz


A joke
Lost in
You will
Does not
Laugh anyway
For that
Is quite funny

I would never choose
To eat a granola bar
Or peanut butter crackers
Though I eat them
All of the time
Out of necessity
Carbs and calories
I can’t even enjoy
Swallow and choke
Ruined in my mind
By the association

Mis manchas de Bambi
Manchas blancas
Cubren mi cuerpo
La gente se queda mirando
Pero no les da asco
Como mis manchas rojas
Mi dolor

Who am I?
I am me
When did I
Become me?
As I recall
I was three

I know it’s for the best
But it still hurts
Hearing mothers complain
For what I would give anything for
My husband says no
My doctor says no
My lifestyle says no
It makes so much sense
They forgot to tell biology
Stalking random kids
Imagining if they looked like me
A decision already made
That is not my choice to make
Holding other peoples’ babies
Without the confidence
Of a real mother
Feeling their judgement
Can’t learn on my own
The ache deep inside
Comes out in a groan

I don’t expect
Diabetes education
For the public
But chances are
You know one
Don’t know what type?
We roll our eyes
Then it’s type 2
Let me give you
The basics
We did not do this
To ourselves
Unless you mean
When my immune system
Betrayed me
We look normal
Insulin keeps us alive
But it can also kill us
Sugar can be my villain
 Sugar can be my hero
There is no cure
Calories are irrelevant
To the all important carb
Diet police  
Are not wanted
Nor diet coke
We thrive on
Balance and moderation
Realistic expectations
Encouragement and hugs
We are annoyed
When non-diabetics
Try to solve our problems
As if it’s easy
Yet we love to laugh
At this stupid disease

My objective is selfish
Not to share or be heard
To get it out and move on
No one seems to hear my pain
No one seems to feel my pain
To walk a mile in someone’s shoes
Would they not be a different fit?
Empathy is limited, we relate
Only to what we have felt and lived
Can we not imagine anything more?
Give me compassion
Over empathy or sympathy
Kindness that does not depend
On understanding me
Why we repeat what no one got
the first, the second, the third time
Whatever said becomes
Only a reflection of the listener
We keep trying, talking in circles
Until we give up,
And move on to someone else


A noisy restaurant
Beyond the dishes
The music
The voice that rises
Above it all
For there’s always one
Grating and obnoxious
Opinionated and rude
Telling a story
Or gallant
Pleasing to the ear
A domineering man
A woman
Begging for attention
Different characters
Different reasons
Yet their voice
Rises above it all

If I could make you smile
Just once
From an appreciative heart
It would make all of it worthwhile

If I could make you laugh
Just once
Your funny bone
Divide my joy and give you half

If I could make you cry
Just once
That deep place you are hiding
Healing could begin to try


Don’t talk down to me
I am not a child!
Even children
Deserve respect

My poems are short
Written at night
In my head
I wake at dawn
Shake my memory
And collect the pieces
From my pillow

Antes lograba tanto
Metía horas
Sacando lo máximo
De cada minuto
No he cambiado
Mis prioridades
Sino como mido
Ahora mido en tazas
Tazas de café
Ahora mido en amistades
En descanso y abrazos
Mi logro
Que salí de la cama