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just wanted you to know

i always understood and i always had good intentions just not good follow through. i might be mad but i do not believe my dishonest and hers to you is and bad as being torn apart from the only thing that you ever cared about. i understand that she must learn along with myself but i also want you to know that letting go of her is that last thing i will ever be able to do. i might not be able to see her. touch her. talk to her. hear her. but i will always and i say always love her. and i know i must learn. and i know i messed up.  and i will probably never forgive myself for the pain i have brought upon myself. but i ask for your forgiveness. not for your trust. not for a second chance. but just forgiveness. and you are right i haven’t changed. not one damn bit. if she wanted to leave i would back my bags. i would do what ever i could to make her happy.

so i hope you know i might not be able to be there.
but in my heart i will always keep her.
and not you or anybody else but her can take that away.
i might not have her physically but i will always have her.
i can not just say oh well it was worth a shot.
she means way too much to me.
i am not saying you can’t keep me from her.
you could probably legally be able to do so.
but i will always love her.
and i will always be there for her.
through thick and thin.
through the darkest hour through the pouring rain.
i would run to make sure she is okay.
so do as you wish i can not stop you or what you wish to do.
but you will never be able to keep us apart.
not completely.
and sure as hell not forever.
i give you the benefit of the doubt.
she and I really did mess up. but i am willing to pay any price.
if 3 years is my price.
so be it.

(2014)

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