I find myself wondering what I’m doing while I walk down this hallway. Following one-foot step one right after the other. Watching people laugh and run down the hallways. I hate the thought of who I am because of the things I do. Some people are happy for the way they treat others when they do it to be accepted. I hate rules that are given surrounded by guidelines. Telling me that I can’t do certain things because it’s the way its supposed to be. I wish that my life could change but even if I could have it change I don’t know where I would start. I am always tied up on things that have nothing to do with me and if they do they shouldn’t be happening. But it seems no matter what I am caught in my own version of trial and error until I can be free. I feel sick at the thought of why people react to certain things. I find myself lost without anything to hang on to. I drag my heart from one corner to another hoping for a way out of this hell within my feelings. September might be over but October really took on for the toll… And today is the 1st. ill be lucky to make it through this month without second thoughts on my own life and why I am here. And if this goes worse than planned ill be lucky to make it tomorrow.