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Sobering

I hate this im always drained and beat.
Sweating my heads hurting from the heat.
Burning my back to get no where but backward.
just wishing i could move forward.
And i never like to admit that my heart.
Trying to move on is there a restart?
Im worn. Im tired of games and repetition.
People all looking at me like i need a mission.
Just wanting to actually sleep and relax.
Tired of all the drinking im tired of the bud and wax.
Needing a retreat too somewhere quiet and vacant.
I feel strong but love seems so distant.
i wanting to believe but trust standing in the way.
Girls coming around wanting me to stay.
Not wanting to feeling scared of lusting.
Walking home from school stirring and dusting.
Taking time to think about my lifes direction.
Wondering if my decisions were a good selection.
Smiling at the skies. Head thumping inside my skull.
How i am towards others im a taurus im a bull.
Nobody slaps me twice without trouble charging you.
I feel like everything i do i have to do.
Im losing my strength with this shit.
But i feel like ive just fallen into this pit.

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