A Fault In Our Stars
I wanted to write a poem
To show the fault in our stars.
So I began to think of you
And created one about my reopened scars.
~~
You and I used to be so close.
Our mother/daughter friendship was meant to last,
But you ruined it all for me
And turned my loving memories into a thing of the past.
To others, our love was a wonderful sight,
But what they saw was just a show.
And now the problems that are built up inside me
Begin to take over me and grow.
In my dreams, our life is perfect,
But in reality, that will never be true.
I am stuck with your horrid imperfection
And there is nothing I can do.
We are stuck in this battle.
Desperately wanting the other to crack.
Each feeling of mine you tend to break,
Makes me want to take all my love for you back.
But I know you will never let my aching heart go,
So my hope for you begins to wilt.
It’s dying because you don’t realize what you’ve done;
Destroying the love for you that I carefully built.
What my young self built for you was beautiful,
A golden chamber filled with care.
A chamber fit for a loving family,
But you were never there,
YOU were never there for ME
Though you claimed we were so close together.
You always said you loved me,
But it always seems like you don’t really care.
For care is not a word you know
Or a word you would ever use for me.
It’s only a matter of time.
A time for the truth to come out and for you to see.
But you will never see what’s wrong,
So you can never make it right.
The hatred that is filling me
Vanishes in your sight.
I know this pain will never dissolve from inside
Not until you go away.
And even though I want this to be over,
I still pray for you to change and for you to stay.
I waited for you to take that little step
And come into my life again,
But I know you’ll never see what you’ve done.
So I guess this is sadly the end.
~~
I wanted to write a poem
To show my heart’s reopened scars.
So I began to think of you
And created one about this fault in our stars.
(2012)
Mother-Daughter relationships are supposed to be close. That's not the case for the one who has lost her mother in more ways than one. This poem desribes the heartbreak and hatred as well as a meloncholy tone that brings out how the writer truly feels about losing the mother-figure in her life.
