That Kiss
I fell backwards
Seeing all in slow motion
You standing, you kissing her
So our love has run its course
This fact sinks in with a whisper
As you trail back to me
Not knowing I’ve seen
Your stuff is waiting on the pavement
All neatly folded
I thought that was the end of that
No awkward lies, no need for parting words
Just the end
I’ll wipe you out of my memory
While I stare at the ceiling
As midnight consumes
Glowing stars pointing me back
To the reality of the unfeeling
I never feel much anymore
I’m not human you would say
Truth is
It’s easier this way
The iridescent sky leaks gold
As Angels slumber in eternal bliss
And everyday gets more difficult with it
I plan things in my head
Amazed at how much time you took up
I twiddle my fingers
Agitated and restless
Life beckons within
A possibility of happiness
Surely I should take it
It was but one kiss, I know this
Shadows loom with it
This tiny slight of happiness
As the nights get darker
I remember how moonlight would flicker
as a candle on your face
Little snippets start to rise
Through the mud
Dirt I burried on top of you
I thought that was the end
But things keep getting through
You hunted for the Santa Claus movie a week before Christmas
As I didn’t feel festive, then fell asleep through it
Waking up to Christmas pudding and eggnog
That warm cuddly festive feeling came back
It still resides somewhere in me
In Paris we sprinted from a five star restaurant bill
Wearing silk, breaking my heels
This night you captured my heart
As we ran barefoot in the rain through paris
The hotel in Venice had rats in the cupboard
We didn’t want to leave the bed
So we made picture’s on the ceiling with lamp light
Falling asleep to softly slapping water
That night I Knew it would only ever be you
It’s still you
You skinned a cable for the copper
Made me a bracelet
The arthritis in my wrist driving me crazy
You drew me a Christmas Card every year
Even when you turned thirty
You were useless at making me coffee
So young carefree, look what’s happened to me
These little things keep wounding me, but also make me happy
If I could take back that kiss
It still would’ve ended as this
You needed more than I could give
In my world it wasn’t important
That you
Knew how I loved you
How I needed you
That every morning I thanked God for you
You never knew
As I never told you
And now it’s too late to
(2014)
