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my lonely heart

if you noticed me at all
saw past the smiles and jokes
past the self assured demeanour
and the confidence shielded cloak
you’d see what drives my foot
and what rests inside my chest
bitter and acrid... dire loneliness
that’s intolerable even at its best
 
but you don’t see the real me at all
i never let anyone see my real face
blood red eyes sit behind this mask
as tears boldly cascade with grace
so i bring to you only a creation
a thought form of who i wish i was
someone blessed with utter elation
and without pain, scars or flaws
 
if i gave you the real and true me
i’d have nowhere to retreat or hide
i’d be stuck in a mental freeze frame
neither i nor the world would abide
so maybe it’s best that i stay lonely
on the periphery of the spiritual brow
one thing that’s true when said eloquently
is the loneliness i’m feeling right now

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