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How have I gotten here?
 
To a place where numbness is the finish line, first and second place is sickness and death.
 
A place where I can’t bare my own thoughts so I swallow them down pill after pill until my head is so high up I’ve forgotten who I am.
 
Maybe this is who I am.
 
Deep inside my core there’s nothing left but an emptied soul and desire for more nothingness.
 
Truth be told I crave it
 
I yearn for it, I need it. Just cut me another line of white and there IT IS!
 
Nothingness,
 
numbness,
 
home.

(2015)

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