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Writing- Blind thoughts

15 minutes until....

as if as if...
bygones were bygones
and refilled carriages
fresh cut’s bleeding
could cover a stitch
to sew shut this rift
ever again.
 
she was blind
she sat next to my bed
 
I feel suddenly numb
deceleration accelerates
my pulse, my panic
 
slower my sight flees slower
closer sleeps it comes closer
 
time stretches
walls will close in
creaking tin turning plastic
shattering projectile shards of window
to bury a first glimpse
of tearing pain in my flesh
and let the roaring of nothingness in
just before a sharp loose cut
gives in to gravity
tearing through my worthless torso
on it’s way to nothing
and i finally abide
let go
let me and this doomed machine
become one
with God.
 
ready for inferno
i am not afraid
i am not afraid
i am not....
 
it is time
my mind is still
i have lost
 
with a familiar hiss
doors swing open
to let the smart minded
cut me vain
 
take the cut.
 
i am not afraid
i am ready
 
doors close
and the humble non
serene docile
even dignified
remains
to await the cut
 
there it is
momentum
movement
 
“Is he still awake?
give him more
Anesthesia. I will be back in an hour”.
 
i am not ready
i am afraid
afraid
 
my life still collapsed
just out of sight
 
where is the blind girl?
why is she not by my side?
 
she let me down this time.
she promised she wouldn’t leave my side.
 
i feel sleepy.  
 
goodnight.....

(2015)

#PoemWriting

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