Azaleas
An Original Song
You used to carry me on your shoulders in the spring
So that I could smell the flowers.
I remember the white, the purple and the pink
That bloomed from April showers.
You built a treehouse just for me
With trap doors and a balcony.
My imagination roaming free
Making memories with you.
You used to call my name
You used to fix the pain
You used to know just what to do
But for the past 6 years
You’ve gone and left me here
And my name is just a sound to you.
Mama’s started to tell me
That I sound so much like you.
And by the way, I know this hurts,
But you’ve forgotten her name too.
I wish that we could talk about
Everything I’m going through.
‘Cause I know that your opinions
Would carry so much weight.
I’m sorry that I took so long.
I know that it’s too late.
You used to call my name
You used to fix the pain
You used to know just what to do
But for the past 6 years
You’ve gone and left me here
And my name is just a sound to you.
And I know it’s not your fault.
It’s that disease, that stupid disease.
It’s stolen all your thoughts
And erased me.
Who is God?
What do you think?
Do you want to grab a drink?
I’m married now.
He’s my best friend.
I wish that you could comprehend.
So much has changed.
I’m grown up now.
I’d like to know if you are proud of me.
Oh, can’t you see...
You never call my name
You cannot fix the pain
But we know just what to do
‘Cause for the past 6 years
We’ve never left you here
Mama’s taken good care of you.
You don’t have the memories;
You just have our hands to hold.
We don’t have the remedies;
We just have to know
That everything will turn out fine
And when you decide that it’s your time
Our names will be a memory to you.
I wrote this song in 2021 about my dad who was diagnosed with Alzheimers in 2013. He is still alive, but it feels like he's been gone for years. I grieved his loss in my early 20's so when he does pass, I'm grateful that I will be strong enough to help my mom grieve through it.
#Alzheimers #dad #daughter #family #father #hope #loss #love #memory #mom #sad
