Memories of the younger, wonder years
Like magic deja-vu
Take me to a fantasy world I used to live in
And I remember what it is to wonder
 
It’s a steady reminder
That I rush through life
And forget to enjoy what I was waiting for
Remember, why I was doing it in the first place
 
When Summer comes
I wait for the cool breeze of Fall
And when the Fall comes
I wait for the warmth of a fireplace in December
 
In anticipation of the future
Like the embers of a long dead fire
The fire is gone but the essence remains
A phase in life, followed by a sudden a refrain
 
Is there a point to anything, I sometimes ask myself
Not something I thought much as a kid
Come to think of it, I was probably smarter back then
By now, there must be a million points
 
If time has no beginning or end
And it goes in a straight line
Clocks go ahead and come back around again
Then time must be in a trance
 
Beautiful green trees too
The old ones; strong and vibrant
They sit and meditate for a lifetime
But their work is always accomplished and they live long
 
Humans and animals both struggle to survive
And when they get a chance to play, they play hard
Whenever I watch a wildlife program
I notice the similarities between homo-sapiens and apes
 
We could just be animals in a wild, unpredictable landscape
To wonder too much and not live like the animals seems insane
Language sets us apart yet our nature is the same
Growing up is not easy to do, and definitions of maturity vary
 
Time management didn’t matter to me when I was young
I guess that’s what I miss the most
In the span of thirty odd years not much has changed
I just want to forget about time and play
 
In the end I’m killing time
But as much as I stab at it, it remains alive
You can’t really kill time, but you can waste it
Something I’m getting better at with time
 
In the end it’s a matter of momentary whimsicality
You get bored of a favorite past time
“But it’s your favorite!”, they say like they only know you for what you do
You pick up a new hobby and your old friends don’t recognize you anymore
 
Capture the moment
That’s what I learned from youth
And of course, the all mysterious love game
How we can be so set on finding someone to love us, when we can love ourselves seems trivial
 
I wish I could grasp everything in life and understand the meaning of it all
But at some point it all dies and fades with the grass anyway
Like the tadpoles I held in my hand as a lad
Or the birds I watched drift into a cloud shrouded heaven
 
Life can seem so complex
You watch it live, you watch it die
It’s the circle of life that taught me
Every beginning has an end, but new life emerges from a former death
 
I watched loved ones live and die
The memory of them, is now, but a ghost
And the haunting is a fear of future failure to be free
Sometimes I wish I could be “born again” in some ritualistic hallelujah revival just to believe
 
The years of wonder never seem to die
And the mind remains curious through it all
I still ask the same questions I did back then
Sometimes I get answers, sometimes the ones I don’t want
 
I look in the mirror and see a stranger
Not because I don’t know myself
But because I know I’m always changing to fit the scene
I wouldn’t bother trying to know myself completely
 
One day I’ll settle down like other men
Get married and watch newborns get old, watch my friends get old
It seems the thing to do
I don’t know that someone made a rule to do this, but I want to anyway
 
Maybe we’re just pro-creating machines - programmed to populate
Pop out a few babies and you’ve done something for future generations
Maybe you’ll leave a legacy behind you
If not, no harm done
 
Given that I still have a full life ahead of me
I should take life for what it is worth
Grasp it by the horns, as they say
And ride it with the kind of vigorous effort lovers put into sex
 
Everything up until this point has been improvisation
Like a draft copy of a life map that I keep adding to
I don’t know when it will be complete
But it doesn’t matter, as long as I keep drawing the lines

(2014)

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SophiaGrey
oltre 5 anni

I really like this poem, reading it made me think back on how my ideas of life have changed over the years also. Excellently structured too!

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SophiaGrey ~Midnight Rose~ Cordell Carrier
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