Questions To Ask Yourself
A mother’s love for her child will always grow
Sadly enough for me this isn’t so
I somehow I have managed to deal
With all the pain she has caused me
It is like she thinks I can not feel
Am I not human?
Or am I just a spawn?
Has she won this game?
I can not comprehend.
From day to day
To her is it just pretend
How can someone love you one minute?
Then disown you the next
It’s so hard to reflect
I know she may never understand
That what she is doing is wrong
But who am I to tell her?
When she just gave up so many times
I can’t be what she wants me to be
And I still do what she tells me to
That’s the problem, it seems to me
That it is all about control
I believe it is deeper than just that
It’s this responsibly that she’s never had
It’s this family she never wanted
How do you hold on to a memory that was so long ago?
How do you keep thinking she is ever going to change?
How do you keep convincing yourself that you are the one to blame?
How do you take the pain each time she says you mean nothing to her?
How can you just sit there and not fight back?
How do you recover from a pain that eats you alive?
How do you keep it locked away?
How can you deal with her not being there?
How do you know what you are supposed to do?
How can you lover her and still want her in your life after all she has put you through?
How can you manage to fill that empty void?
She’s not dead, but she wants to be thanks to you!
