To my Unborn Child (HashtagTupac)
Don't take me too seriously
To my unborn child,
I don’t know you yet, I’m far away from you now
Yet at times I imagine how perfect you could be;
my mind conceived you before your real inception,
would I know I wasn’t ready for your conception?
It was at times fun –the process of working to make you,
It even at times felt easy, if only I knew–
What the reality was, How unready I was.
At first thoughts of you couldn’t form in my mind
I began to worry, would I not get you in time?
Spoke to experts, they said to just keep at it
So I did, then one day you kicked and I felt it.
Humans are irrational, and I was no different,
I felt at some moments strange sentiments.
It was fail today, the next it was we can do this,
Then next it was what if we cant really do this?
I saw you grow, each moment looking better,
There were nerves when she was ill, your mother.
At times I didn’t feel your heart, it scared me,
They told me not to worry, you were alright
But more tests were needed, but you were alright.
As the Day came close, things got much harder,
Mum and I argued a lot, at times she shut me out
At one point she almost lost you, I freaked out.
My eyes were red most days, sleep left my way
But you needed attention, I couldn’t look away.
The night you came was full of terror and elation
Our ordeal would soon lead to full celebration
Up all night, mixing energy drinks and pro plus pills
it was not until the first rays of sunlight I finally knew
images of the months before now came to me
how right at the end I began to live life miserably
at times I worried you would not make it here on time
I even broke down, once asking God to give me a sign
And seeing you now, not perfect but the best I could muster
The future alone knows if you will turn out well for me
I need time away from you, the stress got me fucked up
But you changed me, and I thank you. To my written baby.
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