Who is the happy husband? Why, in
'Tis he who’s useless in the time
Who, asked to unclasp a bracelet o
Contrives to be utterly futile, fu
Or when a zipper nips his loved on

I objurgate the centipede,
A bug we do not really need.
At sleepy-time he beats a path
Straight to the bedroom or the bat
You always wallop where he’s not,

For years we’ve had a little dog,
Last year we acquired a big dog;
He wasn’t big when we got him,
He was littler than the dog we had
We thought our little dog would lo

A shrimp who sought his lady shrim
Could catch no glimpse
Not even a glimp.
At times, translucence
Is rather a nuisance.

One cantaloupe is ripe and lush,
Another’s green, another’s mush.
I’d buy a lot more cantaloupe
If I possessed a fluoroscope.

The pig, if I am not mistaken;
Supplies us sausage, ham, and baco
Let others say his heart is big—
I call it stupid of the pig.

The ant has made himself illustrio
Through constant industry industri
So what?
Would you be calm and placid,
If you were full of formic acid?

Purity
Is obscurity.

The firefly’s flame
Is something for which science has
I can think of nothing eerier
Than flying around with an unident
person’s posteerier.

The doctor gets you when you’re bo
The preacher, when you marry,
And the lawyer lurks with costly c
If too much on you carry.
Professional men, they have no car