The firefly’s flame Is something for which science has… I can think of nothing eerier Than flying around with an unident… person’s posteerier.

A mighty creature is the germ, Though smaller than a pachyderm. His customary dwelling place Is deep within the human race. His childish pride he often please…

In January everything freezes. We have two children. Both are sh… This is our January rule: One girl in bed, and one in school… In February the blizzard whirls.

Any hound a porcupine nudges Can’t be blamed for harboring grud… I know one hound that laughed all… At a porcupine that sat on a splin…

Husbands are things that wives hav… And with whom they breakfast with… They interfere with the discipline… And forget anniversaries, And when they have been particular…

Affection is a noble quality; It leads to generosity and jollity… But it also leads to breach of pro… If you go around lavishing it on r…

Let’s straighten this out, my litt… And reach an agreement if we can. I entered your door as an honored… My shoes are shined and my trouser… And I won’t stretch out and read…

May I join you in the doghouse, R… I wish to retire till the party’s… Since three o’clock I’ve done my… To entertain each tiny guest; My conscience now I’ve left behin…

The hunter crouches in his blind ‘Neath camouflage of every kind And conjures up a quacking noise To lend allure to his decoys This grown-up man, with pluck and…

I have a bone to pick with fate, Come here and tell me girly, Do you think my mind is maturing l… Or simply rotting early.

Adam Had’em

Your hopeless patients will live, Your healthy patients will die. I have only this word to give: Wonder, and find out why

Now when I have a cold I am careful with my cold, I consult a physician And I do as I am told. I muffle up my torso

Candy Is dandy, But liquor Is quicker

He tells you when you’ve got on t… And helps you with your girdle wh…