Candy
Is Dandy
But liquor
Is quicker.

I give you now Professor Twist,
A conscientious scientist,
Trustees exclaimed, “He never bun
And sent him off to distant jungle
Camped on a tropic riverside,

Senescence begins
And middle age ends
The day your descendents
Outnumber your friends.

Celery, raw
Develops the jaw,
But celery, stewed,
Is more quietly chewed.

In fourteen hundred and ninety-two
Someone sailed the ocean blue.
Somebody borrowed the fare in Spa
For a business trip on the boundin
And to prove to the people, by act

The doctor gets you when you’re bo
The preacher, when you marry,
And the lawyer lurks with costly c
If too much on you carry.
Professional men, they have no car

A mighty creature is the germ,
Though smaller than a pachyderm.
His customary dwelling place
Is deep within the human race.
His childish pride he often please

He who is ridden by a conscience
Worries about a lot of nonscience;
He without benefit of scruples
His fun and income soon quadruples

More than a catbird hates a cat,
Or a criminal hates a clue,
Or the Axis hates the United Sta
That’s how much I love you.
I love you more than a duck can sw

Who wants my jellyfish?
I’m not sellyfish!