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July 2017

Flying out of a dry, hot landscape
Into a humid, equally hot one
Everyone was excited and buzzing with energy
Until the twilight hour fell
 
Half of us were moved to another location
All of us scrambling to find an answer
We got an extra bed
But you didn’t use it
 
You went to his room
Nothing happened
Still an uneasy feeling in the pit of my stomach
Something was coming
 
The next night you stayed in the room
The third you tried what you did
That was when the knife had dropped
When I went with her to tell him
 
After all was said and done
You guys blamed me
I told you I would never do that
And I didn’t
 
It was then I had an epiphany
I was taken for granted
A hallow shell standing beside you lot
My spirit somewhere dark and damp
 
Damp with tears
Dark with self-loathing
A fire burned by betrayal
The cavern still won’t heat
 
I feel nothing when I’m with you lot
Not because I’m still captivated by him
But because I’m scared that I’ll break down
And receive pity
 
I don’t want your pity
I’m no fool
But she stuck up for me
Why couldn’t you?

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