fight the feeling

It’s hard to remember
what it felt like before
I missed someone.
The feeling when
you forget how it’s like
to really breath,
after you catch a cold.
Sometimes I like to imagine,
what peace would feel like.
A breath of fresh air,
lungs that hold space.
Energy that flows,
and isn’t stagnant.
Memories that feel,
safe and warm.
Forgiveness, love,
An impromptu smile,
verses a tear.
My whole narrative is just,
imagined stories of you.
Not letting myself
take up space.
Because you,
made me feel like -
I invaded all of yours.
I can’t tell if  -
I want to go back
and fix it all.
Or, I want to just
erase you,
and release myself
from this feeling.
I can’t help but think,
that every hiccup I face -
Is that my karma?
Are you healed,
and I am hurt?

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