insufferable brain
I over think till I’m exhausted.
Becoming quite toxic.
I bow down as your hostage.
You beg me to stick around,
then cry at the bread crumbs
you throw on the ground.
I misunderstood,
the need to be good.
I over explain,
so you remember my name.
I threaten that’ll walk away.
So I can convince you to stay.
The longer you
linger,
the less I trust myself.
You cry in self pity,
like what do you think of me?
I pull away and come back,
and I fuck with your head.
I promise you its
not just to get into your bed.
I’m afraid to let go,
because how hard I’d fall.
I wait in the grave
just for your call.
You said our convo–
you don’t remember it all.
You want me around,
but I feel insufferable.
Im trying to act like
im indestructible.
You act like your life
is better with me in it.
But I can’t even think
of how to begin it.
I smashed my phone,
to forget all the memories,
then spent days to
retrieve them.
If they told you what I did,
you wouldn’t believe them.
You are the definition of
drive me crazy.
I feel like a shit person
and my vision is hazy.
Nobody said this
would be easy.
Every time I reach out,
I feel queasy and uneasy.
I talk about the same shit
like I’m addicted to it.
One moment I’m the queen,
then I’m a piece of shit.
You said you’ll get jealous
but you can handle it.
I get mad at you
now I’m a hypocrite.
I’m honest to a fault
and I’m just sick of it.
You say my feelings
they’re valid.
Then I go off
sending another ballad.
I just want to stand on
common’ ground,
I don’t get why
you want me around.
I said fine
I’m open to change.
Maybe it makes me
kind of deranged.
I got mad at you
for doing the same.
Will you even
remember my name?
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