its all gone

I could die today and it would all go away,
Just the fear that id stay alive is holding me back,'
Ironically I keep living,
Each day I lay in my death bed,
Ignoring the outside world
The world inside my head is haunting enough,
I hate myself for it,
So I step outside and I crumble and die,
I can’t breath, speak am I even alive
I want so badly to live like the others,'
To get myself back
But, I don’t know where I have gone.
I feel like Ive lost everything and my life has just begun.
Im my worst critic, placing my thoughts into the minds of others,
Crazy, I can’t decipher reality from make believe
In my head I just want to leave

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