...heartbroken
They say true love never dies...
...but lately I’ve been feeling like mine has
...it seems as if all I do is cry
and if I’m not crying, I’m depressed or angry
I don’t like who I’ve become.
...it just feels as though I’ve turned into someone else
I’m not as happy as I used to be
I don’t like what I see when I look in the mirror
...I’ve turned into a person that I vowed to never become
I’ve done things that I’m not proud of
I often ask myself, “If I could go back in time, would I?”
In all my time I never knew that I could love a person
...as much as I love him
Even with all that is happening
...it’s extremely hard to imagine my life without him
I’ve been through so much with this man
...I’ve been trying to determine if my good days outweigh my bad days
...things are just so messed up I don’t even know
What is happening to me?
Is it me?
What did I do to deserve these feelings?
Things used to be so simple...
...but now everything is beyond complicated
My marriage is ending and I feel it’s nothing I can do about it
I somehow think it’s all my fault
I constantly find myself thinking...
“What could I have done differently?”
“Is it the way I look?
”Did I not give him all he wanted?"
“Was I not good enough?”
“Where did we go wrong?”
“What could I have done to make things better?”
Every day I wake up and go on with my day as if nothing is going on
...but deep down inside I’m dying
...heartbroken
I’ve given someone almost 10 years if my life
..and it feels as though it’s gone down the drain
I’ve been doing some serious praying lately..
...all I can do is sit back and see where GOD leads me
(2014)
