I guess you think you know this st… You don’t. The real one’s much mo… The phoney one, the one you know, Was cooked up years and years ago, And made to sound all soft and sap…

The most important thing we’ve lea… So far as children are concerned, Is never, NEVER, NEVER let Them near your television set— Or better still, just don’t instal…

In England once there lived a big And wonderfully clever pig. To everybody it was plain That Piggy had a massive brain. He worked out sums inside his head…

‘Veruca Salt, the little brute, Has just gone down the garbage chu… (And as we very rightly thought That in a case like this we ought To see the thing completely throug…

“My teacher wasn't half as nice as… His name was Mister Unsworth and… And when you didn't know a date he… And start to twist while you sat t… He'd twist and twist and twist you…

Hey diddle diddle We’re all on the fiddle And never get up until noon. We only take cash Which we carefully stash

‘Attention please! Attention plea… Don’t dare to talk! Don’t dare to… Don’t doze or daydream! Stay awak… Your health, your very life’s at s… Ho–ho, you say, they can’t mean me…

Gooses, geeses I want my geese to lay gold eggs f… At least a hundred a day And by the way I want a feast

‘Augustus Gloop! Augustus Gloop! The great big greedy nincompoop! How long could we allow this beast To gorge and guzzle, feed and feas… On everything he wanted to?

I never thought my life could be Anything but catastrophe But suddenly I begin to see A bit of good luck for me ‘Cause I’ve got a golden ticket

There’s no earthly way of knowing Which direction they are going! There’s no knowing where they’re r… Or which way they river’s flowing! Not a speck of light is showing,

‘Dear friends, we surely all agree There’s almost nothing worse to se… Than some repulsive little bum Who’s always chewing chewing gum. (It’s very near as bad as those

I had a little nut-tree, Nothing would it bear. I searched in all its branches, But not a nut was there. ‘Oh, little tree,’ I begged,

Come with me and you’ll be In a world of pure imagination Take a look and you’ll see Into your imagination We’ll begin with a spin

The animal I really dig, Above all others is the pig. Pigs are noble. Pigs are clever, Pigs are courteous. However, Now and then, to break this rule,