“The spirits do not like the light… The medium said, and turned the sw… The little lady on my right Clutched at my hand with nervous t… (She seemed to be a pretty bitch.)

A Belgian Priest—Soldier Speaks; GURR! You cochon! Stand and fig… Show your mettle! Snarl and bite! Spawn of an accursed race, Turn and meet me face to face!

Old Codger Of garden truck he made his fare, As his bright eyes bore witness; Health was his habit and his care, His hobby human fitness.

All day he lay upon the sand When summer sun was bright, And let the grains sift through hi… With infantile delight; Just like a child, so soft and fai…

I keep collecting books I know I’ll never, never read; My wife and daughter tell me so, And yet I never head. “Please make me,” says some wistfu…

So easy 'tis to make a rhyme, That did the world but know it, Your coachman might Parnassus cli… Your butler be a poet. Then, oh, how charming it would be

My daughter Susie, aged two, Apes me in every way, For as my household chores I do With brooms she loves to play. A scrubbing brush to her is dear;

Enthusiastic was the crowd That hailed him with delight; The wine was bright, the laughter… And glorious the night. But when at dawn he drove away

For oh, when the war will be over We’ll go and we’ll look for our de… We’ll go when the bee’s on the clo… And the plume of the poppy is red: We’ll go when the year’s at its ga…

I’m sitting by the fire tonight, The cat purrs on the rug; The room’s abrim with rosy light, Suavely soft and snug; And safe and warm from dark and st…

Oh how it would enable me To titillate my vanity If you should choose to label me A Poet of Profanity! For I’ve been known with vulgar s…

Says I to my Missis: “Ba goom, l… Says she: “You are right, Sam, I… A Boil as ‘ud make Job jealous.… Says I: “Go to ‘ospittel, Missis… Says she: “I just 'ate to be show…