Sandra’s seen a leprechaun, Eddie touched a troll, Laurie danced with witches once, Charlie found some goblins’ gold. Donald heard a mermaid sing,

Depends on if the judge is fair, Depends how high the heels you wea… Depends on if they count the hair, Depends if they allow the chair.

Oh a little bitty termite you know… Well he walked right in sat right… You know he chewed out the walls a… But he kept gettin’ thinner and he… He said it’s plastic yeah he said…

(To be said in one breath) Elaine gives me a pain, Gill makes me ill, Winnie is a ninny, Orin is borin’

She put in her clothes, Then thought she’d get A free bath here At the launderette. So round she goes now,

They’ve put a brassiere on a camel… She wasn’t dressed proper, you kno… They’ve put a brassiere on a camel… So that her humps wouldn’t show. And they’re making other respectab…

Well now I once knew a woman list… And the first time I seen her I k… Well now she swore she’d love me a… God damn but I don’t even remembe… Well now I once knew a woman and…

Now a friend of mine, way back in… You know, he finally made his pile… Well he got himself a mansion on… An’ he was livin’ in the latest st… But I run into him, he was eatin’…

Barbara’s eyes are blue as azure, But she is in love with Freddy. Karen’s sweet, but Harry has her. Gentle Jane is going steady. Carol hates me. So does May.

They said come skating; They said it’s so nice. They said come skating; I’d done it twice. They said come skating;

I am writing these poems From inside a lion, And it’s rather dark in here. So please excuse the handwriting Which may not be too clear.

(Chorus) Pour me another tequila, Sheila. Take off that red satin dress. 'Cause I crossed the border, And I beat the dealer for all of…

It was nine o’clock at midnight at… When a turtle met a bagpipe on the… And the turtle said, 'My dearie, May I sit with you? I’m weary.' And the bagpipe didn’t say no.

Said General Clay to General Gor… To kill and die in such a bore I… Said General Gore to General Cla… And have some icecream on the way… Said General Clay to General Gor…

I know you little, I love you lot… my love for you could fill ten pot… fifteen buckets, sixteen cans, three teacups, and four dishpans.