Depends on if the judge is fair, Depends how high the heels you wea… Depends on if they count the hair, Depends if they allow the chair.

(Chorus) Pour me another tequila, Sheila. Take off that red satin dress. 'Cause I crossed the border, And I beat the dealer for all of…

(To be said in one breath) Elaine gives me a pain, Gill makes me ill, Winnie is a ninny, Orin is borin’

Pamela Purse yelled, ‘Ladies firs… Pushing in front of the ice cream… Pamela Purse yelled, ‘Ladies firs… Grabbing the ketchup at dinnertime… Climbing on the morning bus

But please walk softly as you do. Frogs dwell here and crickets too. Ain’t no ceiling, only blue. Jays dwell here and sunbeams too. Floors are flowers - take a few

She fumbles and stumbles And falls down the stairs, Makes love to the leg of the dinin… She’s ready for animals, women or… She’s doing Quaaludes again.

Well now friends you’ll never gues… I just met the sweetest woman of m… But a friend of mine said, 'Buddy… Don’t you know that girl you’re fo… And that man is big and rough and…

Thanksgiving dinner’s sad and than… Christmas dinner’s dark and blue When you stop and try to see it From the turkey’s point of view. Sunday dinner isn’t sunny

I tried on the farmer’s hat, Didn’t fit’€¦ A little too small - just a bit Too floppy. Couldn’t get used to it,

1 little monkey was goin’ 2 the store when he saw a banana 3 he’d never climbed be4. By 5 o’clock that evenin’

Josie it´s been a long hard day Down the road to where it´s at I must have lost my way When I got there they said I was… Now you´re the only one can get m…

Well I’ve told you someday I’d ha… And you would see me grinnin’ from… Look in my pocket this ain’t gabba… Oh oh someday’s here And I told you someday I’ll come…

All the Woulda-Coulda-Shouldas Layin’ in the sun, Talkin’ 'bout the things They woulda coulda shoulda done... But those Woulda-Coulda-Shouldas

There was a girl named Abigail Who was taking a drive Through the country With her parents When she spied a beautiful sad-eye…