Still looking
To the hopeless romantics
Let me tell you why my self esteem is shittier than dirt
Why I have a wall up and my heart always hurts
I let love over take my life, or at least I tried
I could never master the hand hold or making it past that one night
I was never the one to be the keeper, the special someone
They’d tell me things to make me feel beautiful and then be done
I’d wait for a phone call or a lousy text
But I wasn’t good enough unless it was for sex
I used to hope with all my might that someone would swoop into my life
Kiss the wounds from lovers pasts and build a relationship that was certain to last
But I’ve been a foolish girl for so long in love with the concept of love
That I let anyone in and gave my all, that now I’m left with no one.
They’d say I’m different, don’t have any fears
I’m the type that will make you laugh and catch your tears
Made me believe, with all that I am
But when I needed you where did you stand?
You were on the enemies side
With all the cheats and ones who lied
I felt like I did, after every bad love affair
You had love to give but for me none to spare
Not good enough, expectations not reached
A great girl but never good enough to keep
Never pretty enough or exactly what you wanted
Self esteem beat to shit and disappointment that haunted
It eats me at night when I lay by my lonesome
A hopeless romantic hoping one day that someone will come
And tell me I’m perfect just as I am
And return tomorrow still willing to hold my hand.
I’m tired of trying and still failing
Falling in love but nothing prevailing
I lost my hope a time or two
But to the hopeless romantic I’m looking for you.
(2014)
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