Mind-Hopping
From the Dream-Hopper Series
I went inside my furthest head
where 'who I am’ is found
to root through all veteran thoughts
that sluiced my cognitive ground.
I searched for something simple -
something primal– something free –
something anything could cling to
that was not illusory,
to help remind who I’ve become
that once there was some good in me -
(and Hopper was there with rainbow hair
garbed in garland of mystery.)
I found some notable trinkets!
Like once I shifted a crumb
from just beyond a yellow thicket
denying bugs and beetles some.
:)
And once while driving home, at a red,
I even gave my car to some guy!
I tossed the keys, took off and said,
“She’s yours, don’t bother with, ”Why?”
:)
So, yeah, I thought I’d found it there -
perhaps nobility!
Acts so wrought seem safe to compare
to others that claim civility -
still more to honor what is fair
and just and good in society,
or so I told myself. But there
was just no fooling me.
There Hopper burst, blinked, fluttered and shook
the bubble we found ourselves in
with nothing less than confidence
and nothing short of chagrin,
and then my unsettled spheres revealed
ulterior motives DEEPER within!!
Peeling back the layers of my 'good will’
and getting to the heart of everything,
I found it was for my own personal thrill
and benefit that I’d such aid to bring!
I found the root! (But not 'The Source’) -
the fundamental gist
of why it was I did to Love
what sun rays do to mist,
of why it seems my current dreams
are no more pure than this.
There inside my mind with s/he
(who danced me through defiantly)
I fin’ly was able to actually see
the ROTTEN core inside of ME!
:(
I gave that crumb, that precious crumb,
to she who snatched it outright
with teensy-tiny mandibles to bite,
not because the critters needed some
but rather to impress my God that night!
:(
I may as well have kissed myself
upon a brow concerned
now with whether some bum could drive
but whether my soul would burn,
and then dear Hopper disappeared -
because that soul had learned.
And there amid the muck of me
aware I’d fallen from Grace,
I snapped back to live memory
with a stunned, but smiling, face
more convinced than ever before
that humans deserve this place.
My half-goods now are still fair game
despite their feeble, fragile frames
and so I chill with bums and cons
and those who dance upon their lawns
as well as with the well-to-do
(if Goodwill has a cheap enough suit ;)
I’m not a good man on my own;
my essence is slightly askew.
I’m guessing we aren’t at all alone
the more Hopper helps me review.
So, even though I suck at life
and every good thing I free,
is freed with chains that hold it tight
to service and satisfy me,
I’m still gonna’ look for the smidgen of light
that “Source” I mentioned before might be!
:)
