People think that their report car… will be graded Pass/Fail but since God has a mysterious rep… He gives two grades in every subje… You get an A for effort

Just as Tastes like chicken is code for I only want chicken I don’t know what I want

If, after 10/7 you have the chutzpah to ask What just happened? their answer– It didn’t just happen–

When the NSA reads my email are they ab– le to discern tone

Feminism’s big mistake is thinking it can use a power vac… to clean up the patriarchy’s mess

Life is short because God knows to leave us wanting more

As long as there have been people there have been people wearing mas… the difference now is that each mask comes with an entire cos…

If my wife could re-draft she says she’d still take me but only after trading back to the second round

In the final battle between Good and Evil both sides were allowed but one weapon Good didn’t think twice;

It’s come to my attention that My attention span is limited By what I want to see And like most people these days I don’t know what I want

You both cause and cure real self-… by performing fake self-loathing for an online audience The cure takes when you’ve no authentic self left

For those who are real– ly asking, the truth is al– ways multi-tasking

Wash, Rinse, Reinterpret

I’m neither handy nor a dandy but my wife still finds me handy d…