Sometimes (unfinished)
Living in a very painful experience,
one of constant, agonizing pain - from the memories of childhood,
to the unfulfilled dreams that you’ve had since.
Yes, there are brief periods of great joy:
the birth of a child, the love of a good man - at least you thought so, then you realize that will soon end because...
you’re just not compatible,
he’s married,
he only wanted to be with you to get over someone else...
Same old story, over and over again.
I really don’t know how much more I can take.
One day I’m up and the next I just want to stop breathing.
Stop Trying. Stop Kidding Myself. Stop believing that some day...
I will be recognized and honored,
he will be available,
I will not be seen as an object, but a whole person with feelings.
Sometimes I just don’t want to do it anymore.
(2013)
