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Disappointment
Disappointment is everywhere I look
It is in the faces of those I admire most
And shown in their actions
I wish I could fix everything
All the hurt feelings
Shot off in a moment of carelessness
I wish I could wrap
All those people I love the most
In bubble wrap
Protecting them from the falls
As the wind picks up
But all I can do is sit and watch
As the storm unfold
Hearts exposed
Tears shed
Lives wrenched apart
As the season of joy approaches
The irony isn’t lost on me
As I sit and fathom
How wrong everything has gone
Disappointment tearing me up inside
As my heart cries
Waiting for this silent hour to end
As I remain stuck in the eye of the storm
Waiting for my loved ones to come back
For forgiveness to unfold
And the healing to begin
But it doesn’t stop the loneliness I feel
Just like when I was a little girl
Sitting in my room
Waiting for the storm to pass
Holding my breath
Wishing I were dead
As the tears descend
Things are sometimes said
In the heat of the moment
Feelings are hurt
Holes punched in our fragile hearts
Wounding us deep in our battered souls
And the recovery takes many steps
First is anger
This is my least favorite
As I sit and wait
Watching as punches are thrown
Bruising my insides
My heart breaking
Next is denial
No one wants to admit
Wrong turns were made
Choices that can’t be reversed
And now were stuck on this train
Waiting for the next stop
As the world spins out of control
Forgiveness is the last step
The hardest gift to achieve
And often the one never visited
Because it is easier to ignore
The burning fire in our hearts
Than acknowledge how it got there to begin
My heart is breaking
As I sit here in the dark
Straddling a thin line
Praying to god
All the people I love
Won’t break for good
As I sweep up the pieces
Trying to hide the damage done
Wishing I was strong enough
To do more than clean up the mess left
Begging for the strength
To stay strong
So I can pick them up again
Before too much is said and done
And all that is left
Is a bitterness
That corrodes the heart
All the while feeling useless
A waste of space
A coward
Still lingering in the shadows
Waiting for the nightmare to unfold
Helpless and inept
As I listen to the broken hearts
Smashing to the ground
As all that I love is destroyed once again
