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Nightmares
Waking in a cold sweat
Choking for breathe
Scared to death
The shadows prancing
In the darkness
Laughing with my gasps
Thrilled to catch me
In this indisposed state
Dissolving every ounce
Of strength I have left
Weak and no fight left
Still reeling from the monsters
I had just seen again
Reliving the nightmares
I thought I had left behind
All the memories
I strive so hard to forget
Laying in this black abyss
Slowly waking from the mist
My heart beating
Through my chest
Too afraid to sleep
Fear of the unknown
Terrified of the monsters
Waiting to take me
Again and again
Broken images
Refusing to abandon ship
As I struggle to calm down
Just another nightmare
This is what I tell myself
They can’t ever touch you again
Those monsters are long gone
Never again will their touch graze your skin
Though regardless
Of all rationale thought
My heart drums on my chest
Needing an escape
A distraction
To regain some composure
Something to make me forget
The darkness I’ve just come from
I flick on the light
With my shaking fingers
Casting away the dark
Needing to feel safe
But still just as alone
Wishing there was somewhere
I could go to hide
From the demons in my past
But there is no such place
Nightmares follow me
Everywhere I go
Dictating my every step
Refusing to let me go
No one can know though
What would they think of the girl
With scars as deep as mine?
I’d be shunned
My disfigured soul
On display
For all to ridicule
Yes, it is better to go it alone
No one to judge
But I’m so scared
The demons never far behind
Needing distance to feel secure
I flick on the television
The noise filling the silence
Droning out the screams
Of my tortured soul
Just another day
You’ll be fine
I tell myself
This mantra my nightly exercise
As I struggle to make it
Through the night
To forget the memories
Haunting my deepest thoughts
Praying I’ll never be caught
Even though I know
Those days are gone
That little girl is grown and strong
Childhood left behind long ago
Ignoring the pings in my gut
While I drift inside my head
Reliving a time
Even therapy can’t make me forget
Flickering images
Static noise filling my whim
Ready to pounce
If I give them an ounce
Starring straight ahead
I focus on the show
Welcoming the diversion
From the darkness of my thoughts
Shutting off my mind
As I prepare
For the long night ahead
I won’t sleep again
The glimpse into my past
Too vivid
Putting me on edge
All my vigor replaced
With the fragile and weak
Coward I really am
Still startled by ghosts
Haunted and lost
Living with this sickness
There is no name for
A disease that has me
Marked for death
Each night
As the darkness descends
Dragging me back
Into my murky depths
Of my mind
Threatening my sanity
Time and time again
As I struggle
To flee this madness
Threatening to take me down
