People usually regard waiting as one of the most excruciating kinds of protraction. Waiting for something or someone in vain could bear a million thoughts travelling a million miles an hour like “Should I stay a little longer? Or should I leave because I am f*ckin’ tired of waiting for something I did not even have an inkling if it would ever come?” The idea got me ruminating on the flip side of it. And if I were to apply cognitive empathy—as a skill and value is to do with one’s ability to see things from multiple perspectives—I would believe in the gift of the gap. Let me unwrap it.

The question is not why should I give in to the bliss of severing the agony; it is why should I be persistent when the answer does not come in my time table. The doggedness of our desire for something is basically tested through time. There are times when we were just caught off guard by our fascination and impulsiveness; we tend to make a decision on the spur of the moment. And if only we would take advantage of hindsight, we would come to realize that making a decision when we were too consoled or too desolate did not always engender any good. They say, the three languages of being wise are 1) Think well; 2) Feel well; and 3) Do well.

A lot of times “delay” gives me time to clarify what I really want. I have hoped for things and, sometimes during the delay, decided I did not really want them after all. Indeed, time separates deep longings from mere whims. Delay also aids me in my process of discernment as I go to seek my great perhaps.

Around this time last year, I was one of the lucky ones who got to attend The Feast Video Puerto Princesa—a Christian community with charismatic worship where I have been a regular (Nah! Scratch it! “Not-so-regular-but-at-least-not-a-first-timer” is more along the lines, credits to my busy schedule) attendee—for the series “Emo”. I learned from that particular talk that there are two kinds of people: “Emotionally Irresponsible” and (Any wild guess? *grin) “Emotionally Responsible”, and the difference that lies between them is the “gap”.

An emotionally irresponsible type of person has the following behavioral pattern: Emotion  Expression. While an emotionally responsible person follows Emotion  GAP  Expression. The main purpose of the gap is “emotional detachment”. So instead of expressing his emotion outright, an emotionally responsible person takes time to figure things out, enjoys the silence, and finds wisdom amidst the gap. Mind you, the latter does not deny his feeling but in fact does acknowledge it, attach to it in order to understand why he felt it, and finally understand why he no longer needs to feel it in order to get to detach from it.

“Good things come to those who wait”, “Patience is a virtue”, and many other done-to-death clichés capture the philosophy of importance of waiting. But I, personally, learned to trust the process and lean into it because I believe that the ups and downs and everything in between shape me. And in my moments of unknowing, my trust in God increases; more so they keep my faith aflame that the best version of my answered prayer will come in His perfect time.