Heaven; What a Wonderful Thought
How can this life be handled?
Tears stream down my pale face like wax on a candle.
I determine to move on, but I just don’t have the strength.
My life may have reached its final length.
A loaded pistol is being held to my sensitive temple.
If I move forward, just a step, the trigger will be pulled and the bullet will gut my temple.
I am forced to stop
And stay in one spot.
I stare at the stars which blanket the sky.
They look not down, but up to their kingdom in heaven; why?
Oh, how I would love to exist in nothingness, star one, two... seven.
Heaven.
I am just a misfit living alone in a lonely realm; living a life of death.
I beg and plead for rest.
I am stuck in my own secluded dimension; not past, future, nor present.
A side dimension combining all three, that’s where I have been heavenly sent.
All I can feel is the feeling of pain.
Compared to everyone else, I am living in my own “harmonious” lane.
Each scar that caresses the parts of my body hold their own story.
They symbolize that I have come out of each deathly situation with glory.
Each battle has made me weaker and weaker.
The Grim Reaper is my death seeker.
The guilt is piercing my soul.
With misery, I am full.
I am in dire starvation of happiness.
I’m ill of loneliness.
I just have the feeling to end it all.
So I could become an angel and eventually fall.
If I committed harmless suicide, who would miss me?
If I came back to life, who would kiss me?
If I die, I swear I wanted to die.
Promise me you will not cry.
Just look up into the beautiful midnight sky.
That shining star will be me saying goodbye.
