#SelfSabotageLoneliness
there is a body sprawled out on a… obscenely and nudely. with a blissed out face and beaded… smears of red on the face and stom… it lies there with a lighter in a…
i love you and isn’t that it? isn’t that a slur? to say i love you, when your father spilled that
i love it when fading sunlight hit… lighting up my eyes and every line… then, i start understanding why i… but, when it’s not dawn or dusk, i’ll close the blinds and curtains…
i want to fucking tear you apart just to breathe in the smell of the blood that i tasted in your mouth. everything looks rosy right now, and i want to cleave you as sudden as the smile ...
there’s a swarm of vultures overhe… something is dead.
i’m sitting in an old 2000s chevy with r&b music playing loud from t… my shoulders slipping out from und… and i’m either a sex symbol or something holy.
just puked up cookie batter; sending my love to illinois.
sometimes i wonder what god is. she’s the gentle hand and the draw… those flash floods and the never e… she lays the bricks and then turns… they tell me,
i’m busy with bruised legs covered… i’ve got my black boots kicked up… on a hot swing set in the backyard of a church that doesn’t want me. i’m saying fuck, getting familiar…
i am scared of you now, of this stranger who has taken you… those familiar eyes now watch me,… your loose hold now tight and the… this beast of grief has eaten you…
“be thankful to god for bringing y… god had no part in what i became o… he was a callous bystander, a watc… he watched me cry and then drowned… god watched me start wars and lose…
i’m building sentences like lego w… but they just aren’t clicking. i’m trying to find just one way, t… the mindfuck i’m going through. it’s not clicking in their brains,
you tell me what to do and i lose… i swallow down the anger with a pi… i count to five watching the fire… before pressing it down on my thig… my friends keep getting worried,
i want to cry and count all your f… decorate your face with stickers a… then maybe you could hold me and w… do you think?
i let you watch me lose my goddamn… raging at the wallpaper and crying… i let you listen to the burning an… and the pop of a pill bottle openi… i let you feel the screaming apolo…