trying not to cry in the holiday i… my mama said something mean again

when the ash settles down and you… wild and dancing, you see blackeni… you see the ending of it all and i… the way it dances and beckons you… the way you wish it would.

i left you, but you never had the… you walked right out that door wit… you slipped into the cracks of me. you know how mad it drives me? i feel you move around, inside and…

“be thankful to god for bringing y… god had no part in what i became o… he was a callous bystander, a watc… he watched me cry and then drowned… god watched me start wars and lose…

do you love me, genuinely? don’t scoff and say, “yes, of cour… think about it for a minute. do you love me? when i’m crying like we’ve got roo…

you tell me what to do and i lose… i swallow down the anger with a pi… i count to five watching the fire… before pressing it down on my thig… my friends keep getting worried,

if i loved you less maybe i could sleep through the ni…

i love my dad; he makes me sad he cries in work trucks, i cry in bathrooms. he likes to soothe burns with ice… he also likes to stay still when b…

aren’t we all just lambs in a slau… we’re madmen given knives and rope… god is a sadist, but he doesn’t wa… i don’t hide from god, i hide from you.

it’s ugly how time moves. how places that you used to fit in… the kitchen cabinets, the space between your closet shel… don’t fit you anymore.

i’m kind of nervous you don’t love… and isn’t that hilarious? when i was so damn scared in the b… that you would love me at all.

there’s something about flowers an… you ask someone why they pick flow… “because they’re pretty.” you ask someone why they pull weed… “because they’re ugly.”

insomnia, violence, puncture wound… a razor, eating your organs raw, a… impatient, obsessive, humiliating.

please don’t leave me. you swing your legs, sitting on th… we used to climb it a lot after sc… are you saying you’d miss me? you… yes, fucking yes, i would.

i am scared of you now, of this stranger who has taken you… those familiar eyes now watch me,… your loose hold now tight and the… this beast of grief has eaten you…