intraventricular dyssynchrony
i want you to know that i love you,
and that thinking too much about it makes me dizzy and teary.
to be completely honest, just for a moment with you
i don’t know the normal amount of love to give someone.
i’m afraid sometimes that i don’t spill enough of it into your hands and skull,
into the cavities of your chest from past poison pretending to be antidotes.
sometimes i wonder if i’m a masochist for bottling up all the love i have for you as a punishment,
for not living up to my own standards for being.
