tears
i just wanted you to love me right,
but i don’t think you were ever built to be a mother,
and i don’t think i was built to be a son.
so, you never figured out how to love me right,
and i never learned how to love you without it burning me from the inside out.
i wish we were kinder beings,
i’m not cruel with anyone other than you,
it’s just wired into me.
i was raised to trust you through every betrayal and it just stopped working.
it’s funny though, how i can still feel so betrayed for on par behavior.
to feel forsaken by the release of information i did not ever trust you with.
it makes me want to cry into your stomach,
“please, i’m your child, you’re meant to love me, you’re meant to protect me, this isn’t what i want,”
but all you do is say back, “i love you and you are my child, but if you were better you wouldn’t need me to protect you. if you weren’t so selfish you would also want this, or better yet, not want anything at all. i love you and you are my child, but you make it so hard.”
and i won’t ever figure out how to please you,
so it goes.
so it burns.
