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I Want to Hate You...
Do you sit there and think about me?
Do you understand how I’ve felt?
I try not to think about the images of you and me.
I guess God played me, the Fate’s cards were poorly dealt.
Rain pours down and I still feel the pain.
The pain of your absence still lurks in my mind.
Tears fall down my face like the pouring rain.
I can’t believe I was so blind.
I talked to you everyday, I trusted in you.
You left me behind, broke your promise, made me cry.
You said you’d never leave, it wasn’t true.
I wished so many times that I weren’t alive.
I wanted to hate you, wanted to rid you from my head.
You stayed inside my brain and I still feel the depression.
It’s hard to even sleep, this pain won’t let me go to bed.
You run through my mind like an out of control obsession.
I lay here broken and feel tired and feel forgotten.
I can’t sleep, or maybe I am, and this is a nightmare.
Now you’re gone and I tell myself that you were bad from the start, you’re like an apple that’s rotten
but from the inside, I wish I was never there.
It’s clear to me you were just here to use me, use me for your sick pleasure.
I wanna get drunk, sit and forget about you for a night.
I don’t want to miss you, remember you, forget you forever.
I lie awake and fight myself for sleep trying to think if you were right.
I feel like it was a waste, you tore me to pieces, cut my heart and left me to die and waste away.
A smile can hide the hurt, I can laugh it off and say I don’t fucking need you.
Inside my feels are chaotic, they are never at rest, never at bay.
I sit here and I just don’t know what to do.
Why do I love you?
Why do I want you?
I want to hate you...
(2013)
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