Change.
asked of change by that which does not change.
Change is good
change is fine
but I forged my name
on a dotted line.
gun to the head filled with echoes of force.
echoes without source.
it is those same half truths but of course.
I know of those echoes.
they are the whispered, screamed, rehearsed.
coincidences are not signs
half truths are lies.
but those that fear the rebirth.
the true mirror in a hole.
a hole where the soul is standing still
forged because there is no such thing
nothing happens for no reason
how odd jneerd
only the dead inside feel so
no spiritual, no religion
no simple facts and simple intentions
because I change
but rarely miss out when alls within range
it isn’t delirious, delusional nor insane
it’s just what it is.
I find it more foolish to ignore your soul
and let the damaged brain
take the lead
caring to much of others eyes
worrying too much of unenlightened signs
change is good
change is fine
but it’s at this table I’ve set up to dine
I got up, excused myself many a time
until I realized
it was not possible.
no after who I left behind
obsession is not love
no obsession clouds my mind
just pure patience
something is yet to find off
before everything aligned.
and poison took to the blind
so blind.
a few cheap ideals of what love should be
rules and regulations of what the perfect kind be.
I hate those who cannot see beyond their own two feet
seeing only what gives one comfort.
without seeing what one truly needs.
lying to yourself
for security.
running away
playing hide and seek
until I’ve disappeared completely
I greet my fears head on you see
no one said it was easy
but infatuation is the game of immaturity.
when one occupied plays it safe
locking doors and I luckily
learned a lesson while you’ll rue the day
you put chains on to be free.
I see a smile of relief
smothering, disguising a heart that grieves
a confusion that breeds unhappiness
choices that will long bereave
calm, a fire inside that will come to ruin,
shattered foundations
backwards bleed
an experiment to see
what poison i could take from you to put into me.
because the secret is I can handle all the assumptions negative
thrown at me.
if one throws it then I should be able to take it
the truth can set truth free
boundaries needless.
instead of questioning ways to go
finding reasons to let go
why is it you cannot
see all the reasons why you keep getting pulled back in
looking at invisible forces jerking back
bury it too deep
you won’t like what you become
when time grows old
take time to do something right
shortcuts will be the end of it all
but I hear it every time it calls .
the same .
the same
the same
well I finally gave it a name.
but was it love or was it pain
was it loss or was it gain.
I care not because.
because it isn’t done
there is no more me
but we live on you see.
if there’s no more pain
I reached my hand into the sky
grabbing Into the darkness
instead
the stars burnt my hands
I’m the dark side of the moon..unable to reflect your light. as I’m facing the side of the void.
wanted change .
but mine is yours
and yours are mine
hate it.love it . reject it breath it
take it’s breath, strangle it
take it out back and shoot it
force it to commit suicide.
it’ll rise from the grave
to tell you it hadn’t died
scratch it did at the windows while in bed with another
whisper then scream then whisper what’s said
telling you something ain’t right
scratches in the head
it has a key to my door.
and I just heard a dead bolt snap
now that’s cause for concern.
I let it burn
but it’s heart still beats
rhyming with my own
even while a stranger beside me
tells me im not alone.
I smile and say I never was.
as it’s always here.
even though the only pair of eyes
are those here
the voice that lies
lies to their own lies
denial is a funny surprise .
fear it not.
it’s here to change.
it was sent to bring light
to teaches lessons of the soul.
my goal?
yes.
your nightmare.
because you’ll never face yourself
wanting change while heavily in denial.
drinking from a vial
given to you.
so a choice was made
it’ll be known it was the wrong one.
change is good?
your the only one who did not change a single thing.
you went back to the familiar.
the one that can give you what you want.
not what you need.
what a shame.
what a shame.
pretend I’m everything you hate
lay down in the bed of false assumptions.
I would never be so presumptuous
it makes it easier.
you just didn’t realize
it’s what I was here for.
instead you used it for the shallow, mundane and juvenile.
when it could’ve set you free..
I told you I played no games.
it’s a shame
it’s a shame.
the world moves on
and you didn’t realize
throw away what makes you change.
what challenges you?
is true change.
is the truth of life.
Change is not comfortable.
it is not yet helpful.
later rather than sooner.
it is what you know becoming distant.
and what is distant being home.
it is not of what you are told.
it is not of choice
but of how one can be more bold.
it is in the voice.
a voice you fear and have never known.
sounding in your mind and heart.
telling you this will not be easy.
but it’s what you must defeat
then one may truly understand content.
when one acts so knowing and puts down others in the same breath.
they know not of change, wisdom nor truth.
I fear some know not what true change is.
but who am I too know?
—C.R.Stanger
written fast. nothing amazing. first draft.
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